解码男人的规则

　　Men's Rules That Women Should Know

　　We guys always hear the rules from our women. Here are Our rules.

　　我们男人总是听女人制订的规则，而以下就是我们男人的规则。

　　1 Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

　　有困难时，除非你们需要人帮忙解决，否则不要来找我们。我们就是帮你解决问题的。如果为了博取同情，请去找你们的女朋友。　

2 Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

　　哥伦布不需要有人给他指点航行方向，我们也不需要。(我们男人开车的时候，你们女人最好不要乱指方向。)　

3 You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

　　你们女人可以请我们做事或者告诉我们该怎么做。但是你们不能在求我们做事的同时还要告诉我们该如何做。如果你们已经知道怎么做最好，那么就请你们自己做吧。

4 If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

　　如果我们问你们怎么了，而你们说“没事”，那我们只能装作没事一样。我们不是不知道你们在说谎，只是觉得不值得为此小题大做而已。

　5 If you ask a question you don't want an answer to; expect an answer you

　　do not want to hear.

　　如果你们女人问我们一个不想知道答案的问题，那么请做好去听你不想听到的答案的心理准备。

　6 If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not ask us.

　　如果你们女人觉得自己胖，那么你大概就是胖。不要过来问我们。

7 Most guys own three pairs of shoes--tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

　　我们男人大多只拥有三双鞋——这很好。难道你们女人会以为我们男人善于从30双鞋子中挑出与你们的衣服相配的那一双吗？

8 Shopping is not a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that

　　way.

　　逛街购物不是做运动，永远都不是。男人永远不会将二者等同而看。

　9 BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

　　啤酒之于我们就像手提包之于你们，会令人兴奋异常。

10 Thank you for reading this. Yes. I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know, it's like camping.

　　谢谢你们女人看完上述条目。是的，我们知道今晚我们得睡沙发，但是你们知道么，睡沙发犹如露营，我们一点不在乎。